Every parent can help his timid child build relationships. A lesson on building relationships in child teaching is crucial for every parent. However, if a kid is timid, he will often manifest in his behaviour a lack of courage or self-confidence.
Timid child is easily alarmed, frightened and is very shy. He doesn’t builds relationships very easily.
The Difference between Shy And Timid Child
Most of the parents can’t say the difference between the child being shy to the timid child. Some of the parents are immediately alarmed if they perceive that their child is very shy in social interactions.
Shy children (or people) are completely healthy individuals. Their shyness is a a part of their temperament. They just response differently in an social environment. And in most cases is the temporary behavioural trait of a child. Some children are shy in their third and fourth year, but in their fifth year of life they aren’t anymore.
Shyness is a part of a child’s disposition, nature or character. Shy child is completely normal and happy. He is just overly sensitive to his environment. Shy child is super-aware of his surroundings and is highly influenced by it. His high sensitivity level makes him to go into introvert or reserved mode any time he feels embarrassed or insecure. Shy child is easily embarrassed, he may not be very courageous or be able to tell things loud and clear. However, no need to panic. Due to being of shy temperament, he can be either cautious, introvert or too self-absorbed.
When cautious, a shy child is reserved and insecure, usually in the room full of people. He might be introvert because he needs to renew his energy and feel protected due to being in a new environment or with people he doesn’t know. Also, he may be self-absorbed because he is preoccupied with his own projects or ideas, that he is not inclined to engage in social interactions.
Shyness is quite usual in humans. Some researches show that from 21% to 45% of people living today have a shy personalities. If a child is shy, no need to worry about it. It will outgrow it and build self confidence as it develops and grows.
But if a child is timid, it means he is going through some psychological trauma (big or small) that can leave a deep scars and affect his later life.
Timid child is also shy, but he is also unassertive, scared and fearful. Such child can stay timid for his whole life. A timid child is psychologically damaged in some way, to the extend of being in a state of fear, indecisiveness and easily scared of seemingly harmless things.
Two Parent Behaviours That Create A Timid Child
A child can be born a very shy one, but no child is born timid. Timid child has deep psychological reasons to be afraid. It may be one or more such reasons that have made the transit from shy to timid character.
Alert number one is that the child has a poor self-esteem level. It doesn’t appreciate himself and is not using his full potentials. For example a parent may know that his child is great at painting, but the child doesn’t want to paint. His self worth or self value is very low.
Timid child tend to think that whatever is said about them is either critical or negative. He is cautious of everything around him and won’t take any risks unless he has to.
Parents should know that timid child is conditioned to be in such a state of mind by the behaviour patterns of the people he trusts – his parents.
If parents are giving to a child more advices than encouragement, they may lead the child to be timid. Any order without encouragement will make the child feel less worthy and important. Child teaching should revolve more on the encouragement part than on insisting to make things in a proper way.
Parent sometimes make mistakes and embarrass the shy child in front of the others. As a parent who wishes only good and happiness to their child, they should never make fun of their child in front of others or embarrass them on purpose. This will not make them less shy. Parents should never tell them: “Don’t be so shy and quiet.” It will cause an counter-effect and make them even more less important.
The parents should be aware that they don’t make their timid child into the center of attention in front of strangers or force them to perform, recite… in front of others. They should never belittle their quiet way of behaving or disclose some personal (specially embarrassing) information in front of others. The child should not be called impolite or rude if they are not meeting social norms or standards. One should be double careful about all of the above in the company of their peers. And for the sake of all the goodness, they should never answer instead of them.
If the parents find out that their child is timid, they should look at their behaviour patterns first.
What Can Done To Help A Timid Child Build Relationships?
One of the common mistake made by the parents is to think of themselves and of their self-image when their child acts shy or timid in front of the others. When learning that their child is timid, parents should understand that the child should be approached in a different way.
Here are some tips:
- Don’t try to change child’s temperament. Shy people are pure and attractive; they are usually very fine and good people. Shy child can grow into a real angel if parents do their job well in the department of child development and teaching.
- Respect his time and timing. When child gets into the shy mode (becomes cautious, introvert or too self-absorbed) he is giving the message that he needs his energy recharged. Being around others or strained in any way depletes the child’s energy and he needs now some time for himself to restore his balance and power.
- Support his mood. If someone ask the child something and he is shy and is not answering, support the child’s choice and make it look as the child’s own choice to not respond.
- Learn how to listen patiently. Shy children are very good listeners. If parents learn how to listen and ask questions the child will be more open to more communication.
- Be emphatic. Shy and timid child is usually very emphatic and knows how to read different emotions. If you acknowledge his current emotional state and do not judge, bur support it with your own experience, he will be less shy.
- Be aware that shy children have less friends, but their friendships last longer. Do not worry about your child having small number of friends.
- Find a great preschool / school with great teachers. Shy children blossom in the warm and nice environment.
- Prepare the child well in advance for any upcoming event. Explain to him what is the event all about, whey you go there, who will be there, what will happen and all the other details so that the child will be familiar with everything. Thus he will not be shocked and his anxiety will decrease, knowing what is all about the event.
- Never use the force. If you loose the patience, go out on the balcony and breath deeply until calmed down. Your child should always see your smiling face.
- Avoid quarrels and disagreement in front of your shy child. It creates worries and anxiety in their mind.
- Do not expose the child to a group of people. One-on-one is far better approach.
- When introducing new person always chat and talk with them few minutes before. When a child sees that you are friendly with a new person he will be reassured and more likely to talk. He will more readily accept that new person in his safe circle.
- Help your child practice handshakes. Make it a fun with lots of laughter.
- Build his confidence and help your child be more independent. They can answer the phone or put a yogurt in the basket, or order the milk-shake for you both at that new bistro.
- Be always optimistic and no matter what always encourage the child.
- Create safe and warm environment at home so the child feels safe and protected.
- Never treat your shy child as invisible. Recognise him, greet and address him. Signal your affection and care.
- Make him feel wanted and needed.
- Tell your child you love him from Earth to the Moon and back ten times. Every day. As many times as you can.